I have the same journey. Since my father died i still cry in silence and my heart aches everytime i see him in my thoughts... 😔
It's hard missing someone you love living in the house where all you do is have memories of them! Even harder to pretend that you don't miss them or that you're not hurting inside because of their absence! Just to rewind time say all the things that you didn't get to say or have the conversations that you were afraid to have. I will cherish what I had and not dwell on what I do not have! I think they would have wanted me to live that way! I miss you badly! I pray for strength to handle this life and loss! I still love you even though your gone you're always in my heart!
So very true, I don't owe anyone an explanation for how my actions are, this is my journey , if I want to share and if I don't respect me , everyone has a story , mine well it's a broken heart💞
There is no time limit on grief. If u lose a child those feelings of grief and loss are with you every day. You may not talk about it but its there. It's as if someone took a piece of your heart away the day your child died. If you have other children you feel you have to be strong for them and hold your pain and tears in. I would cry all the way to work and all the way home. I functioned as normally as possible while at work and home. No one had a clue how torn apart I was. And how it took everything in me to hold it together. Don't let anyone tell you you've grieved long enough. They don't have a clue.
Grief is like living two lives. One is where you "pretend" everything is
alright, and the other is where your heart silently Screams in Pain.
I have said I have developed a split personality- one being “Oh, I am just fine” and the other being “My pain is unbearable, I can’t breathe”